hidden in Christ
"oh allison, you know that's not what I meant."
This thought in my head was strong. It definitely wasn't from me.
I could picture God shaking his head; laughing at me like I was a child learning how to walk and falling down.
Yesterday, I wrote a blog post about the type of makeup that I used. I spent a lot of time on it. I felt a knot in my stomach all afternoon after it was posted. I felt weird that I felt weird about it. I pushed away these thoughts and moved along with my day, but eventually God was like "No, sweetie, that's not what I need you to be doing with this." And I deleted it.
The truth is, I've gotten really caught up in my own image.
My striving has never been to be perfect, it was just to be passable. The misconception of people-pleasing is that we do it because we want to be better and more perfect than everyone -- which is true sometimes for a lot of people -- but the underlying reason is that we (I) try so hard just to be at a level that is even acceptable.
It's not "I want to look good because I want to be the prettiest girl in the room."
It's more accurately, "I want to look good so no one screams and runs away."
Isn't that the saddest thing?
I have been so excited to begin this journey of blogging since I bought the domain name. I have always loved to write and I have always known that I would one day do something with it.
I know comparison is almost a buzz word now -- but that's really what happened
comparison, comparison, comparison.
I didn't want to just be another girl with a blog (gag, right?). I didn't want to be boring. I didn't want to be weird. I didn't want to post too little. I didn't want to post too much. I wanted cuter clothes so I could post my outfits like that girl. I wanted to get a better phone or camera so my pictures could be clearer like that one other blogger. I wanted to turn my husband into an instagram husband and ruin his life in the process. I wanted to read cool books and do cooler things and spend money I didn't have and cure cancer and pick up playing the viola again. I wanted to put my best face forward.
I'm exhausted just typing it.
I was no longer depending on the Lord because my life was about me. What I was doing. What I was wearing. Who I was with. What candle or shoe I bought that day.
Even without being a celebrity, we make ourselves the celebrity of our own life.
When we realize how much our life is not about ourselves and about what our God did for us, it gives us FREEDOM to rest and trust.
In a world of so much self-promotion,
we can be all about Christ's promotion.
Instead of making ourselves up to be a perfect picture, we can point to the one who already is perfect.
(Without effort, at that.)
Ultimately, our efforts to make ourselves into something we are not -- it's all so empty. Christ calls us to strive after His image and not our own or someone else's.
There is not a single status in this world worth your soul.
The applause of the people in your surroundings will never be enough.
Colossians 3 says "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."
How different would our lives be if it was hidden with Christ?
How different would our lives be if we promoted Christ more than we promoted ourselves and our own agenda?
How different would our lives be if we built our life on something that never fails?