SPOTLIGHT - the bud co.

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about the spotlight writer

The Bud Co was born out of our own need to hear truth about WHO we are, not what we should DO. We realized that so many of us are in the same boat-- paralyzed by the thought that we are missing out on our “purpose”, feeling like everyone else has their “thing”, and lost in the in-between transitions of one season to the next. We knew the answer was being rooted in identity but became quickly frustrated by “sunday-school answers” that left asking, “But, how?”. We were convicted by the thought that if we focused less on doing and more on who we are and created to be, AND living that out day to day,  the crippling questions of life would fall into place because we would be secure in our identity in tangible ways. We do this through our quarterly print publication, retreats and conferences. We'd LOVE to meet you and say hello! We're coming to ATX in January! 


If the devil had it his way, there would be no way we’d still be friends. Shan & Ash over here, the gals behind The Bud Co, an organization built on equipping women to not just know who they are in Christ but live like it too.

We joke around a lot that we were made to be best buds and sisters, but the truth is all of our similarities have thrown us into the depths of comparison more often than we’d like to admit. Even now, it’s something we actively have to speak truth into and check-in with each other on because bitterness stemming from insecurity and shame have no place in the joy of being on mission together— Which is a reality for every daughter of God.

We haven’t always had this attitude though, in our last year of college together while planning our weddings (that were 3 weeks apart), sharing bridesmaids, a friend group, the same internship, sorority and apartment we were basically not talking to each other because of some twisted fear that doing so would allow the other to “outdo” us.

WOW, saying that out loud now makes us cringe a little bit. Withholding encouragement, support and fellowship made us feel more in control of the “hierarchy” comparison creates. Instead of celebrating with one another we were threatened by one another and honestly we were actively, in the secret places of our heart, speaking death over each other’s joy.

Thankfully, Jesus had way more in store for our friendship than we could imagine and simultaneously broke our hearts over this struggle. Over a tearful evening, Little Caesars pizza, and an old fashioned sleepover we spoke our struggle out-loud and planted our friendship in His redemption again. While that all sounds nice now, we will tell you it was an ugly evening. We admitted a lot of awful things to each other and had to ask forgiveness. Not only that, we had to admit we were still in the process of putting comparison behind us.


It was a turning point for us when we discovered that struggles brought out of silence could no longer keep us in shame. That once we introduced each other to our ugliest thoughts, we could actually speak truth into them. We were so afraid of admitting we were weak when in reality our act of repentance gave us strength. Bud, we learned that when we speak this hard topic out loud we are admitting that

  1. Comparison is a nasty game— but it’s just that, a game, not a reality in His Kingdom.  

  2. It’s time to honor your sisters, and you’re committing to partner with your bud to pray against it together. (Philippians 2:3)

    3. Jesus didn’t create us for this competition. He made us for real, vulnerable, authentic community of building women up, spurring them on and encouraging them in their walks with Jesus. (Romans 12:9-21)


Admitting where we were at was only the beginning of Jesus’ redemption of our friendship. We had to start asking Jesus to reveal WHY we were struggling with this— to show us where we were sitting in selfishness, where we were discontent with who He made us to be.


Can we all take a big ol’ breather and say “THANK YA JESUS” that we don’t need to measure up to those around us or even the version of ourselves that fear and insecurity ask us to be? He didn’t design you to be JUST like - insert friend’s name - He made you to be YOU. Do we understand how much freedom is in that? There is victory in staying in the lane that Jesus intended for us!


So can we ask… what hierarchy are you trying to keep in place? To be honest, we STILL have to have “come to Jesus” moments together when tensions get high and fears and insecurities rear their ugly lies. But! The women of God NEED each other. We need to hear each other’s anthems of praise and giftings loud and clear and we need to be rallying around one another, radically FOR each other, bud. It is this that equips us to fulfill our purpose— to make His name known as His disciples.