too much

Image.png

You are running on the elementary school playground in your light-up sneakers -- kicking the wood chips up from the ground. Your nose runs and you are laughing at nothing in particular, you say something a little too loud, a little awkward, or a little strange. Your words do not come out of your mouth the way you intended them; you just wanted to add to the conversation. 

"You're annoying." 

Whoever it is in front of you laughs at your expense and utters those words that make your shoulders drop lower than they already were. 

"You're annoying."

It takes them barely two seconds to say. They drop it there and walk away. 

Words hurt, but these alter your identity. They change the way you view yourself and your actions. 

There are some of you reading this that were told one day as a younger child that you were annoying, or some variation of it. 

"Too much."

"Obnoxious."

"Their....unique personality...." 

"Irritating."

"Weird." or "Awkward."

Some of us have been told that we are too much. 

That we are inconvenient if we step out of the chalk-drawn square around our feet. 

We read and re-read our text messages to make sure they’re not too weird or out-of-bounds.

We second guess every action we make.

I have been scared to write. I have been scared to speak up. I let fear of being too much, too complex, too needy — control my life.

We can be wise in our interactions with others, but how much do we not do because we are afraid of being annoying?

What do you hold back? What have you not done? What have you put off doing?

Screw it, You know? Let’s walk in confidence, doing what we were divinely made to do.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Our playing small does not serve anyone.

Here’s to being too much.

“8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:8-10

Allison SchmitzComment