SPOTLIGHT - letting go of self
About the Spotlight Writer
Hi everyone! My name is Brooklyn Zessin and I am a junior at the University of Nebraska – Lincoln. I’m really big on outdoor adventures, baseball games, and quality time (love languages are the best, right?!) I am not a writer and this is my first blog post, so please show grace ;)
letting go of self
by Brooklyn Zessin
I have an attitude problem. I’ll be 100% honest and take responsibility that my attitude recently has been hurtful, immature, and rude.
A couple months ago I thought it was just a day-to-day problem. Others weren’t measuring up to my standards. Situations didn’t go my way. One wrong thing that didn’t fit in my plan would ruin my whole day. I’d get upset, shut down, and treat others like it was their fault I wasn’t satisfied.
Throughout this time, I would continually ask God why I couldn’t find joy. Why did every unplanned bump in the road put a bad taste in my mouth? Why was I constantly disappointed and irritated by ones I loved most in my life?
I was so deep into my little world that I couldn’t even recognize my own sin. In fact, it took me overhearing a conversation about how high maintenance another person was for me to grasp that I was the exact same way. Others in my life had to work to keep me happy.
The Lord, in His kindness, revealed my sin to me. It’s always crushing yet so humbling when you acknowledge that you have wronged the Lord and others.
My selfishness was making me the god of my own life. I had been deceived into thinking I was deserving and entitled. Others constantly needed to meet my expectations. My self-centeredness had become habit.
"Selfishness is the controlling force of sinful living. It is this motive which pulsates through the natural mind, emotions and will - self-pleasing, self-serving, living for self."
- Walter J. Chantry
Removing myself from my pedestal of self-righteousness, I truthfully saw how my selfish motives were spoiling my relationships with my loved ones. Even my desire to spend time with the Lord had noticeably decreased because the Word wasn’t telling me what I wanted to feel or hear. I had so easily fallen into the routine of making decisions or saying words that did not consider the Lord and benefited me first.
I had become blind to seeing the beauty of Christ’s sacrifice and sovereignty in my everyday life.
“16 For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.” Colossians 1:16-18
I needed to remember my place in this world. I am created by Him and for Him. The Lord is all knowing and sovereign through every season of my life. He is not bound by time or restrained by anything of this world. As a human in sinful flesh, I fail to see past this living moment. I hold on tightly to my own plan and too often believe that if it goes astray, the worst will happen. But in the Lord’s ultimate plan, I will prosper. He is so much more credible to guide my life than I am. When holding His loving hand, I will never be unsatisfied.
Comprehending the Lord’s love for me compels me to love others better. To put myself last. To be content with a plan that’s not mine. To sacrifice like my King did for me. This age-old issue of a self-centered lifestyle is a temptation we as believers will fight until we meet Jesus face to face. But in our commitment to Christ, let’s look to the cross every day and remember the sacrifice He made for us. Willingly, let’s walk alongside Him on His path of holiness and spiritual truth. What a privilege we have to serve a constant, faithful God!
get to know more about Brooklyn by visiting instagram.com/brookzessin_