this Easter weekend

If I had to sum up the first few months of 2019 in one word, it would be distracted.

I have been taken in, lured in, by messed up priorities and anything that will have my attention.

To be honest, this Easter weekend, I am struggling. I am actively digging through the dirt of everything else, to get back to my foundation.

Sure, in October I got in a pretty bad car accident. And that will shake you up (I will be writing more details about that soon). But I stopped writing, I stopped reading my Bible, I stopped enjoying being around people. I thought a lot about myself and what made me the most comfortable. I have been living above my life, waiting for the current moment to end just to get to the next one.

I have spent several months just trying to entertain myself. I have numbed myself out with TV and scrolling social media and sleep. I focused on the rest of my flesh rather than the rest of my soul.


This Easter weekend, you see a lot of death and resurrection messages. They will be on your social media feeds and from your church pulpits. You have likely heard this story many, many times.

But now more than ever, I am realizing the difference between knowing that Jesus loves me, died for me and rose from the dead for me — and believing it. I know it, oh I know it. But do I believe it? Do I buy it?

Did He die for me?

Did His sacrifice actually pay for my sin?

What if it did?

What if it was that personal?

What if that was real?

What if that was real?

What if reading the below passage made my heart shift, and made a difference in my life?
(And I know it’s tempting in a blog post to just scroll past the scripture, try not to.)

John 19:28-20:18

“28 After this, Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), “I thirst.” 29 A jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to his mouth. 30 When Jesus had 

received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

Jesus' Side Is Pierced

31 Since it was the day of Preparation, and so that the bodies would not remain on the cross on the Sabbath (for that Sabbath was a high day), the Jews asked Pilate that their legs might be broken and that they might be taken away. 32 So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first, and of the other who had been crucified with him. 33 But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. 34 But one of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water. 35 He who saw it  has borne witness— his testimony is true, and he knows that he is telling the truth—that you also may believe. 36 For these things took place that the Scripture might be fulfilled: “Not one of his bones will be broken.” 37 And again another Scripture says, “They will look on him whom they have pierced.”

Jesus Is Buried

38 After these things Joseph of Arimathea, who was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus, and Pilate gave him permission. So he came and took away his body. 39 Nicodemus also, who earlier had come to Jesus by night, came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds in weight. 40 So they took the body of Jesus and bound it in linen cloths with the spices, as is the burial custom of the Jews. 41 Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid. 42 So because of the Jewish day of Preparation, since the tomb was close at hand, they laid Jesus there.

The Resurrection

20 Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. 2 So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the 

tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” 3 So Peter went out with the other disciple, and they were going toward the tomb.4 Both of them were running together, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. 5 And stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb. He saw the linen cloths lying there, 7 and the face cloth, which had been on Jesus' head, not lying with the linen cloths but folded up in a place by itself. 8 Then the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; 9 for as yet they did not understand the Scripture, that he must rise from the dead. 10 Then the disciples went back to their homes.

Jesus Appears to Mary Magdalene

11 But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. 12 And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. 13 They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” 14 Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. 15 Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.”16 Jesus said 

to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic,“Rabboni!” (which means Teacher). 17 Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, “I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” 18 Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”—and that he had said these things to her.”

I love that Jesus asks Mary Magdalene, “Whom are you seeking?”

I love that word, seek. What an active, intentional word to describe our pursuit of God.

So often we find ourselves in passivity and say that phrase, “I just don’t feel close to God right now.”

Closed Bibles do not speak truth, y’all.

Pursuing God is active. We seek Him. It is where our attention belongs.


This Easter weekend, I am placing my energy, my desires, my attention — on the only eternal thing.

Allison SchmitzComment